Wednesday

X-Men; Wolverine, wasnt as great as i thought it would be. i watched it today with audi and hakim...well, to kill time.
it made my day a little worse, considering the fact everyone in school kept asking whether the rugby team won, "what was the score ytd?", "what happened?!" blah blah blah.
well they weren't helping. argh, fuck.
yesterday's scoreline kept appearing in my head, and it's kinda demoralizing. and the mistakes i made, particularly the conversion-kick i missed. it was fucking near and so direct, and i missed it. fucking wasted. arghhhhh fuck it fuck it fuck it.
MI 0 - 45 SAJC
MI 15 - 28 PJC
MI 0 - 76 ACJC
MI 64 - 7 HCI
MI 12 - 20 CJC

next year's going to be different.

Tuesday

MI 12 - 20 CJ

its just fucking depressing.
at the same place.
against the same team.

we tried, yes we tried. we tried real hard, we fought and clawed our way back. but fuck, it came too late in the match. argh fuck it.

i'll train hard. for next year's sake. for the titans' sake.
oh yes, i will.

Sunday

i watched The Fast and The Furious just now, the very first one.
and now i'm craving for my driving license. argh, another 6 months and i'm 18.
i cant wait.

Friday

fucking tired.

fucking malay project.
argh fucking useless post.

Tuesday

time for
the sidesteps,
the accurate passes,
the tries and
the smiles
we all deserve.

lets do this, backs.

Sunday

with every single letter,
in every single word,

there will be a hidden message
about a boy that still loves a girl.

Friday

tired and hurt, inside out. i'm in desperate need of a long break from my life.

Thursday

really, thankyou guys for listening.
thankyou for being real friends.
i really appreciate that. (:

Tuesday

Talk talk talk, thats all you know.

you talk the talk. you better walk the fucking walk man.
after today's match, i think its evident you need to fucking wake up.
you talk too much sometimes, and i'm getting sick of that.
argh fuck it.



anyhows, MI lost to ACJC.
highlights.
1. their Out-Centre was a binatang(according to adli) hahah that was fucking funny.
2. Rahmaan's kicking were hilarious.
3. Jasden fucking flew.
4. Amir passed the ball to the other scrum half.
5. At one point, rahmaan and jasden were playing soccer.

yeah thats about it. CANT FUCKING WAIT FOR THE HCI MATCH. i'll kill the in-centre. (:





and hey, thankyou for the "goodluck asyraf, take care of yourself."
it made my day, really. (:

Saturday

i know you're out having fun and all,
but i really hope you know what you're doing,
i hope you take care of yourself and all.
well, i still care. pretty much love you, still.
sigh. whatever uh asyraf, whatever.






my smile is my makeup i wear since my breakup with you.

Wednesday

i'm all drained out. sorry if i appear emotion-less. i'm really tired.
i'm not whining, cus this is how i really feel right now.
everything's just not going right for me. i dare say, everything.
school's a bitch, like how it always is. i've got tons and tons of overdue assignments and i've got no mood to even start on them. in fact i dont care if i'm suspended from class, or get detentions everyday. i've got teachers bugging me all over. i've got tests almost everyweek. and i found out something about the students who were 'counselled to leave' (CTE) school last year. if we fail any one of our tests, and dont get a good report from our home/subject tutors, we're in fucking deep shit. we've got to leave the school. fuck. i failed my math test.
my friends, well. i cant say much. i havent been joining them for outings or anything for quite some time now. i dont know, its just this awkward feeling now being around them. sometimes i feel out of place. no, not left out, cus you guys have always asked me out and stuff. just out of place. maybe i'm just being my reserved self again. i dont know.
my mum, she's trying so hard to manage three kids. losing her job isnt helping her one bit. and i really feel guilty and sorry. sometimes i wish i could just quit school and work, to help support my family, or at least help my mum. urgh, school. fuck school.
the A divs, we've lost twice now. 3 more games to determine whether we qualify for the Plates. i've been sidelined again after the SA match, and it sucks knowing you cant do anything to help the team, esp in ytd's match against pj. we lost. we fucking lost. this cant go on.
i need a little dash of hope and faith.
or somebody, anybody, just shoot me, please.

should have, could have. but didnt.

So take a good look at my face
You'll see my smile looks out of place
If you look closer it's easy to trace
The tracks of my tears.


but i know youre so much happier now, so i wont say anything. i hope you two will last long (or maybe not, haha.), and yeah, i hope he keeps you safe, takes care of you. and all the things a good bf does. you're such an amazing person and i want to thank you for every moment, blood, sweat, tears, cheers, pain, laughter and joy we spent together. so yeah.

anyways, MI lost to pj.
last time, after matches like this, you'd call me to comfort me, to tell me we did the best we could, to tell me to suck it up, take this defeat as lesson, and improve.
gah, enough. i've run out of tears.

Sunday

'like father like son'?
fuck no.
you've ran away for far too long, dad. fucking far too long.
And it's okay

If you had to go away

Oh, just remember the telephones

Well, they're working in both ways

But if I never, ever hear them ring

If nothing else

I'll think the bells inside have finally found you someone else

And that's okay

Cause I'll remember everything you say.

Thursday

i need a miracle, a fucking miracle.

Wednesday

what the fuck, crutches? NEVER.

i need a new ankle/foot.
and no doc, i dont want no crutches.